Two blondes in a bar

Two blondes came into a bar, sat down, and ordered drinks. They were patying heavily and it was obvious to the bartender that they were celebrating something big. His curiosity finally got the better of him and he says " I hate to be nosy, but it's obvious that you two are celebrating something big. What's the occasion" One blonde replies "Well, we are just sooo proud of ourselves, because we just finished - just the two of us alone - a 50 piece jigsaw puzzle in only 3 days." Confused, the bartender says "So?", to which the other blonde says "Well, on the box it says 3 - 5 years"

Polish Pilot's

Polish Airways flight 113 was descending for a landing at an airport they had never been to before. The pilot looked out the windshield and suddenly exclaimed to his copilot, "Holy crap! Look how short that runway is! I've never seen one so short!"

The copilot looked out the windshield. "Wow! you're right! That's insane! Are you sure we can make it?" "Well we better, were almost out of fuel."

So the captain got on the intercom and notified the passengers to put their heads between their knees and prepare for an emergency landing. Then he set the flaps to full down and slowed the plane to just over stall speed.

The jumbo jet came screaming in, on the ragged edge of control. The pilot's hands were sweating, the copilot was praying. They touched down and came screeching to a halt JUST before the edge of the runway, the tires smoking. "Whew! That was close!" yelled the captain." That runway was short!" "Yeah!" said the copilot," and wide too!"

Can you build me a long box?

A Polish man went to a carpenter and asked, "Can you build me a box that is two inches high, two inches wide, and fifty feet long?"

"Hmm..." mused the carpenter. "It could be done, I suppose, but what would you want a box like that for?"

"Well, you see," said the Pole, "my neighbor moved away and forgot some things, so he asked me to send him his garden hose."